The Mirror of Authenticity
Feb 04, 2023Summary: Authenticity is not something that can be turned on and off. To be authentic means to be true to who you are and what you believe in; which is always there inside of us no matter what we do. Learn how to give yourself the gift of authenticity.
Fundamentally, authenticity it is the result of genuine self-reflection and a deep understanding of one's values and beliefs that allows for a life of authenticity to be realized.
It's A Way of Life
Living with authenticity is an ongoing process that takes time and effort to cultivate and maintain. It requires a person to continuously examine their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, without suppressing any aspects of themselves, in order to understand how they fit into the bigger picture. It also requires a person to take an active role in their life and be honest with themselves about what they truly believe and value.
Serving in the language industry for the past eight years has taught me many lessons; one of which is to make sure the I am continuously refining my goals and values. As an example, a few years ago, I came to realize that the reason I felt unfulfilled in my business and ultimately within myself, was because I hadn’t taken the time to connect to who I truly was and what I valued. I set out to create courses and collaborate on projects to share my expertise, but was left feeling drained and empty. On YouTube and across social media, I felt like I needed to be happy, outgoing and super bubbly all the time, when in actual fact, there are many sides to me that I wasn’t allowing to be expressed. I didn’t think that was what would bring me success in my business ventures.
Even as my revenue and subscribers grew, I still felt like something was missing. When I got curious as to why that was, I realized that meaningful connections were of utmost importance to me, yet I was not building my life with that as a foundation. By not expressing myself fully and building a business that allowed me to form deep, meaningful connections with my team and clients, of course I was not going to feel a sense of fulfillment. Once that shifted, everything changed in my business, in my relationship and in my self-confidence because I finally gave myself permission to be true to myself, rather than following a path I thought I should follow.
"This deeper understanding of oneself requires that one be willing to look inward and be honest with themselves; something not everyone is comfortable doing."
The Science
There is research to suggest that as many as 70% of people experience imposter syndrome at some point in their lives. Imposter syndrome is the feeling of not being good enough or capable enough, despite having achieved a certain level of success and experience in life. It can lead people to be inauthentic, without often even realizing it. Take a person who became a doctor because they wanted to please their parents and gain admiration from others. They pursue several University degrees, work overtime, earn more and more money, yet still feel inadequate; like they haven’t achieved enough. This is because they hadn’t allowed themselves to take the time to explore their values and beliefs and connect with their true desires from the very beginning. When you don't live authentically, the cost is often your mental, physical and emotional well-being as well as your connection to others and relationships. This is why it’s important to take the time to reflect on your beliefs and values.
Mirror Work
One of the main ways I know to test your authenticity is to use a mirror.
Reflecting on your behaviors and decisions is an important part of the process, as it helps you to determine if you are being true to yourself. But the idea of using an actual mirror can help to draw out a few things that may or may have been hidden right in front of you.
By looking into a mirror and reflecting on your physical appearance, it can help you to identify subtle changes in your mood or attitude that you may not have noticed before. Sometimes we don’t realize just how disconnected we are from ourselves until we literally take a look at ourselves.
This can help to make you more aware of how you are feeling, what may be influencing your behavior and is also an invitation to see yourself with more compassion, empathy and understanding.
This practice is known as Mirror Work, which is a practice that involves looking into a mirror and reflecting on your emotions, thoughts, and behaviors. It helps you to become more mindful and aware of yourself, and can also help to increase your self-esteem and confidence by connecting to yourself more deeply.
How often do you look in the mirror and feel proud of yourself?
It can be an emotional experience to use a mirror in this way so if this is your first time, try to take it slow. Whatever comes up for you, know that it is completely valid and okay. Authenticity is the key here. There is no need to stand there looking at yourself in agony or pick apart every single physical detail. However, taking the time to look at ourselves is a great way to keep tabs on our subconscious. So, be mindful of your inner dialogue and try to stay focused on the positives; this will help to make the experience more rewarding.
It’s important to remember that mirrors can be powerful tools for self-reflection. Looking into one can be a great way to boost our self-esteem and help us be more mindful of our inner thoughts. It can also help us to identify any negative thoughts or patterns of behavior that we may have that are holding us back, and work on making changes to better ourselves to increase our confidence and love for ourselves.
The Gift
Giving yourself the gift of authenticity is one of the greatest things you can do for yourself. Most people are not willing to give this gift because it requires you to take a risk and get a little uncomfortable. But it's important to remember that we never grow in our comfort zone. It's in the depths of discomfort that we find our greatest opportunity for a higher state of consciousness.
I chose not to go as deep with the mirror work practice here because this type of work needs a safe space environment. Click the link below to join our Language Educator Accelerator program where we explore topics like this is an environment made just for you!
References:
- Hay, L.L. (2016) Mirror work: 21 Days to heal your life. Carlsbad: Hay House, Inc.
- Varga, S. and Guignon, C. (2020) Authenticity, Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy. Stanford University. Available at: https://plato.stanford.edu/entries/authenticity/ (Accessed: February 3, 2023).
- Webb, M. (2020) If you've ever felt as if you don't belong, Forbes. Forbes Magazine. Available at: https://www.forbes.com/sites/maynardwebb/2020/11/20/if-youve-ever-felt-as-if-you-dont-belong/?sh=36af74f24358 (Accessed: February 2, 2023).